So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
