The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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