I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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