shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
