Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
