i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
