I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
