dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
