I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
