whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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