either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
where am i from again
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
