She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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