im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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