Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
