Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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