they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
