Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
not ubering you a puppy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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