just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it's like heaven, but drunker
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
