No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
