Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
