Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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