I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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