His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
