:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
