I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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