I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
