What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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