I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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