i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
