U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize