the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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