Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you never un-have a 4some
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
