are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
