Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
