Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
