I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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