Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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