Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
