grandma shit on top of the toilet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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