I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
