no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
