I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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