Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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