woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
