One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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