awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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