Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
