I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
