That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
