4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
