im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
