haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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