I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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