DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
