I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
