whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
