I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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