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So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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