So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize